Saturday, 25 May 2013

The Sculptor Warrior and the Poet Goddess

My dream come true playing the piano at AfrikaBurn (photo: Kenny Yu)
After a few requests from people to share the poem The Sculptor Warrior and the Poet Goddess with them, I decided to post it onto my blog. It was the poem that Kim Goodwin and I wrote last year. We then recited it in the Tankwa Karoo at this year's AfrikaBurn festival during my piano performances under The Wattle Tower - the pagoda-structure that Kim designed and built with the help of five crew members.

But first I would like to tell the story behind the poem:

A year ago Kim and I met each other for the first time at AfrikaBurn. I was too occupied with my own performance poetry pieces and Kim was too busy building his beautiful wattle sculptures The Fear Gods to pay any more attention to each other. Yet on the last night we were sitting around a fire and as the flames got smaller and smaller we moved closer and closer together, our eyes and our hearts met, felt the spark and fell deeply in love with each other. The following morning Kim and his crew hit the road back home to the Natal Midlands and I went my way to Cape Town. Before we parted ways we clumsily exchanged our contact details. I thought maybe this is the last goodbye, what would be the chance of us getting together again? Two days later I fumbled through my AfrikaBurn debris and gaspingly looked for the paper Kim wrote his number on. Ah, I found it! I ran to the piano that was standing in the house I stayed over at the time and dialed Kim's number. As soon as he answered I positioned the phone on the side of the piano and started playing a slow improvisation for him. I intensely wished he would not put the phone down and listened through to the end. I played for around three minutes. When I finished playing, without saying a single word, I put the phone down. My heart was racing as I just sat numbly on the piano stool, girlishly excited. Scarcely did a few minutes pass when Kim called back. Though he had never heard me play before he knew it was me playing over the phone. Within that first week we phoned, mailed and sms'ed each other. In one of the messages he sent me a poem he wrote The Sculptor Warrior and the Poet Goddess. At the end of the poem he wrote:
"...and thus she spoke:" expecting a poetic answer from me. Within a day I sent him my response.
Here is his poem followed by mine:

The Sculptor Warrior and the Poet Goddess

The Sculptor Warrior felt a deep thick river of joy
running  through his soul
His cup was full
The battle in the Karoo was over
A battle with love and creativity,
weaving soul stories with grey and brown sticks

The Poet Goddess stole into the gathering
subdued crackling and sparking in the darkness

The two creatures sat beside each other
His silver beard, her eyes, her eyes looking,
listening, breathing each other in

Pan smiled under the shade of the stars
ah flesh, ah water, aaaah fire

Time and space grew between them

The Sculptor Warrior in his autumn home dreamed,
pondered, and thus he spoke:

Your exquisite chemistry has altered my mind

Now I see you amongst thorn trees, near the ocean
on top of the mountains

Oh Poet Goddess I will live in the moment
until these delicious imaginings become manifest

And thus she spoke:

Oh Warrior, you who command branch, skin  and clay
To twist and turn according to your hands at play
You who make the gods stand to attention
You who climb the heights of your imagination
And do not fear the falling
Or the rising

I have known your soul long before I set eyes upon you
I have felt your hands long before you touched me
I have heard your voice long before you have spoken

And when you arrived
your voice
spun
a
golden
thread
around
my
spine
serpentining
your
fleshylicious
soul
right
around
the
hunger
of
my
body

Let us sculpt and sing aloud
the contours of our art
Let us cross the lines
And break the barriers

From tree to tree
stone to stone
wave to wave
mountain to mountain
I'll spin a golden thread,
hang my heart on it
And send it now to thee

Kim reading his poem under The Wattle Tower (photo: Michael Yankelev from The Freedom Seekers)
- - -

A month after writing our poems and communicating non-stop we realized we love each other too much not to be together. In June of 2012 I moved in with him at his home in the Midlands.

A year went by loving and living.

AfrikaBurn 2013 arrived. We spent 24 days in the Tankwa Karoo building on two of Kim's projects The Earth Pods and The Wattle Tower. The Tower was the space that hosted me and my piano for three piano concerts during the festival. It was a dream of mine to play a real piano in the Tankwa and this year thanks to Kim we made it a reality! Added to this excitement was our happiness in celebrating our one year anniversary in the place where our Love-Fire started.
Each year AfrikaBurn chooses a theme from which the festival-goers and artists can tap into to guide their creative inspiration. This year the theme was Archetypes, and how significant to have realized that with this poem we wrote last year we tapped right into potent archetypes and unleashed them with our love and our poetry.




In,
For 
and
With
Love,

Lara


photo: Gary van Wyk
photo: Lauren Clifford-Holmes
photo: Jonx Pillemer
photo: Gary Goodwin


Saturday, 13 April 2013

Die soen

ek kan niks anders vind wat beter is as
die soen van jou mond teen myne
met die soen word
ons monde en koppe een
ons weet nie watter lippe watter tong watter tande
is myne
en
watter is joune
om jou te soen is om 'n woudpad voor my
te sien oopbreek in die skemer van die dag
om jou te soen is 'n verrukking wat my hele lyf omswaai
en in 'n heel nuwe wentelbaan gooi
om jou te soen is om myself te verdrink in die kelk van 'n papawer
ek voel die lente deur jou lippe breek
dit proe na koel-soet dou in die vroeë oggendure
jou soen wat liefde so eindeloos spreek dat dit
my hart bont-vol laat staan van oorvloed

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

ek kom soek my asem

ek kom soek my asem op hierdie papier
ek kom delf vir 'n bietjie vrede vir my hart
uit  in die oopte verloor ek my bedaardheid
met enige wenteling van die oomblik
ek verloor kop
ek snak na my asem
my keel trek op 'n knop
al wat ek weet
is dat as ek kom skryf
raak dit stil in my
as ek sin maak op papier
dan begin dinge sin maak om my

eenvoud-dig

Monday, 8 April 2013


ek wil net slaap
maar hier staan ek
met my uil pantoffels
voor die laptop en
maak sin van die
punt blare wat wieg
in die wind die
hoenderhaan kraai die duif
tortel ek sug en die
rooi kar sny deur
die grondpad en groen
weivelde dit trek my
oog na die bottelborsel
wat net so lekker
aan't wieg is en
ek raak op my
voete aan die slaap
ek moet net nog
een keer kyk na
wat daar so graag
gesien wil word my
oё raak weg in die
jasmyn en die plantasies
en my ore word
ge-abba deur krieke ek
hoor die vlieg agter
tralies ek maak die
venster oop
hy vlieg buitentoe
en laat my
alleen
hier binne agter

Sunday, 7 April 2013

First drop

For Kim

Your love
is like that moment
that
first
drop
of
water
breaks through the parched earth

-

You are the beauty of the earth
I want to enshroud you
like
slippery moss

-

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

eavesdropping

as a matter of fact
it goes without saying
you know
i agree
to tell the truth
but it all depends
you see
they say
it is wellknown
relatively speaking
live in the moment
however
don't forget
to look at it in this light
it is like i say
i heard the other day
click on this link
bru you have to check it out
the kiefest thing i've ever seen
it has come under my attention
time is running out
deadlines
deadlines
deadlines
cross your fingers
smell the flowers
and the world will smell with you
can't we get a move on?
though
maybe
perhaps
however
it would appear
contrary to popular belief
the wheels are gonna fall off
great!
any questions?
so you think you can
eat pray love?
well i never
in more ways than one
i have no doubt in my mind
statistics show
regrettably
the weather looks good today
excellent!
indeed
in retrospect
who would have thought
i will make it
you understand?
how many times do i have to tell you
shit happens
not now
some other time
will it be a problem?
i'll text you
it should be emphasized
i believe
ja
it has come to this
i fear
forever and ever
aweh and amen

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

jy probeer sy dimorfika sonder xenofobia te aanskou

onbelangstellend kyk die stuk wit my in die
oog lag vir my dat ek aanhitser-aanhitser speel
"vir wat wil hierdie versie-maker nou my mooi

blanke vlak beswart met woorde?" is dit nie al
hierdie versameling woorde wat hierdie rommelary
in die wêreld veroorsaak nie? wat sal gebeur as

ons elk 'n kloosterbestaan inval sal ons dan ophou
om ons koppe te insemineer met opgesmukte idee's
dit is die noodlot met die pratende monde

ly ons nie maar almal aan eggolalie nie?
van toentertyd bly ons neerskryf jirre, die
palimpses val al uitmekaar soos 'n verrotte

sakdoek ons verliefdheid op ons sogenaamde vryheid
maak ons ewige slawe van hierdie enkele idee
boender hierdie malligheid weg! koop

splinternuwe moed by die padstalletjie om die
draai smeer fango-modder op jou gesig en
begin sing in kontrapunt ons vermaaklikheidsmania

wil heeltyd die ogiesdraad van ons grense oorskry
roep al jou kornuite saam nooi hulle vir ratatouille
moenie stres as hulle die eiervrug opslobber voordat

dit gebak het nie en pasop vir hulle dipsomaniese tendensies
jy het net soveel stamina om hulle sodomitiese gewoontes
te verduur maar in jou mou voer jy al lank planne om hulle

onder jou dwingelandy te bring jy weet nie presies hoe nie
maar jy het genoeg optimisme om in jou visie te bly glo
jy giet 'n okarina in die doodsuur van die nag sodat

jy teen sonsopkoms met al die suurstof in jou longe
die oggendsinjaal kan blaas die plaveisel kraak op
drie plekke in plaas van die dipsomaniakke wakker

maak roep die fluit vir Pan uit sy sluimering die lug raak
vir 'n oomblik newelig jy voel soos 'n slaapwandelaar
hande uitgesteek dryf jy deur die dynserigheid

jy sien mettertyd Pan se ragfyn slaapkouse aan sy bokpote
jy is oorstelp van vreugde van alle plekke en tye maak hy
hier by jou sy verskyning jy probeer sy dimorfika sonder

xenofobia te aanskou maar kry dit nie so maklik reg nie
met ongekunstelde panache kom hy sy lyf en asem soos
'n wilde rankplant om jou lyf vlei jy voel hoe die soele

warmte van 'n opwinding deur jou lendene en brein smelt
maar voordat jy met jou oooh en aaaah dwepery kan begin
span hy jou in met die disselboom jaag hy jou soos 'n pakdier

deur die strate en voer die mees ongenadige klopjag uit jy bly
loop met 'n aangeleerde lankmoedigheid jy hoor hoe
sy kloppende hoewe die straat agter jou uitkalwe jy droom

van pamperlang en dolce far niente en gesprekke gevul met
pleonastiese toutologieë maar voel hoe hierdie wilde ding die
leisels stywer trek soos wat die gesigseinder net nie nader wil

kom die mees gehardste seerower sou jou met meer sensitiwiteit
hanteer wat de hel, jy het jou maandelikse paaiemente altyd betyds
betaal wat is sy vendetta? het hy 'n kontantvloei-probleem? was sy

vorige projek om 'n oligargiese hel te proseliteer?
ironies hoe die oënskynlike vryste wese tussen ons
sy eie wilde planne het om ons vryheid vir homself te vat

Saturday, 9 March 2013

this higgledy-piggledy poem will soon do a posthumous twinge

you hopscotch through your vocabulary and wish with a dose of humility
that you will be able to reassemble all your wild running thoughts
into
one
riotously
terrific
poem
the words push you forth inexorably
if you don't play along you will turn into a deranged riparian
this long drawn-out hiatus keeps your wordy soul from doing its rigorous growing
is it something in the air that makes you so hard-headedly huffish?
you wrench the words from the dictionary scream it out aloud, regardless of
the tympanitis that the walls might suffer from
your pen can sometime be an introverted cuttle-fish
too demure, too shy or too whatever to spurt out its ink
there are rich golden hives out there that you wish would incubate your tongue
and let it grow into the most resoundingly resplendent hunting horn
but oh the chassis of your being can at any moment detach itself from sanity
and go forth into a Homeric rising of the X-factorising of the mind
jeeez, this makes your cellular make-up feel all too yeasty for your liking
this continuous detouring into twaddling...
don't you sometime wish you could turn yourself into a rapacious despot
and ravish the world with some high faluting howdah?
even the wood nymphs, periwinkles, hermaphrodites and rhebuck will
fall under your yoke
how awesome!
but enough now of this cubiclelized talk!
why can't you break out more often in some desultory ribaldry
forget about rationing the mind
let it loose!
annexate the hippodrome put on your mantle and smile your cherubic smile
you'll start speaking in tongues and writing in hieroglyphs
oh, stop this hoity toity hoodwinking and talk straight
take the tweezers and pull out the thorn of thine own foot
irrigate your mouth with turpentine
look up to the cerulean skies
lose that pot-belly of laziness
dethrone your cut-throat desires and lift the curfews of the man-made laws
learn to play the hurdy-gurdy and stop all rivalry
it will be good for your health
what if you go for some good ol' hydrotherapy
the jaundice-colour in your cheeks will lift
this higgledy-piggledy poem will soon do a posthumous twinge
hip hip hoorah!

Saturday, 23 February 2013

in die jagtog klou die rillingvleis verewig aan die sluimerende paradys

in die jagtog klou die rillingvleis
verewig aan
die sluimerende paradys

soek die duiwe skuiling
in
die suising van die stilte

al wat groei
is sampioene uit
die tortelerende monde

uit die wit-blou-lug hoor die soldate
geluide wat proe soos koue vakume
in porselein koppies

die ander naamlose gevleueldes
klink soos kastanjette
hulle staccato interjeksies die lug in

my mond kwyl soos ek die dansende kolle
oor my bewende oogbal sien kwinkeleer
mag geen sweem van berou op my tempels kom lê

die geel serp gaan lê
soos 'n spasma
oor die moerse sug

haar dwalende tieties skyn soos 'n kandelabra in die nag
en die mooi van haar voete
kom lê trojanies tussen sy lakens

die vlieg bots gedurig sy vlerke teen die glas
los netjies sy insek-alarm in die lug
geen melkbottel sal hierdie angs stil

die grommende maag gaan staan wydsbeen voor die oop yskas
hy swenk syntoe in
die sig van die verkluimde goggas

ek voel verplig om al die wêreld se kakpraat
in die wasbak af te spoel en al die materialiteit
in die trap-asblik te donder

die verwaande pen het 'n maniese manier
om groter as die oomblik te wil wees
hoe afskuwelik

alweer-die-hadeda op die grasdak
wat kordaat die swetterjoel bibberende aspoestertjies
aan die slaap wek

ag skiestog, die oë in my kop is maar net
versiering
wat briljant is met die wegsteek van my non compos mentis

Friday, 22 February 2013

swart kol


in
die middel
van my bestaan
is daar 'n ink-kol 'n
groot swart ink-kol wat
 verewig my pen in sy greep
het my pen kan nie loskom soos
dryfsand soos die misterieuse
kragte van die bermuda drie-
hoek suig die swart kol
alles wat die pen ooit
wou skryf in een
vraatsugtige
sluk
op

Monday, 18 February 2013

naby nader en naaste

vir Kim

in die golwe van klanke
en nat lippe
en kerries
en
olywe
smeer ons heuning oor ons monde
en voel ons hoe die warm tee in ons
verliefde ingewandes
dieper
en dieper
afsak
die klanke van liefde resoneer deur ons dansende ledemate
en op jou voorkop ruik ek brons
en vuur en
sonlig
die mis verswelg die dag
en die tou strek ver om die vertes tussen ons nader te bring
want ons wil tog so naby nader en naaste aan mekaar wees

Saturday, 16 February 2013

The Cross Roads

The mist comes nightly and drips onto the Cross Roads where 
the Cave-Dweller has laid down his stones.
There is a Wretch who strangely enough comes waltzing by
and with his vinegar lips he wants to teach the Cave-Dweller something of cordiality.
With the next earth rotation the Prehistoric Postal Agent makes his appearance
and at once the Carillon begins to chime.
"I also want to be heard. What ever happened to listening?!"
The Prehistoric Postal Agent says "You are too sober – 
let us drink a toast to more drunkenness!
You will see the firmament more clearly."
Someone knocks on the door (the Cross Roads
now more clearly visible under the clearer firmament).
The Anarchist walks in and takes out his world expo
from his rucksack and in a blitz of words
he tries to convince the Cross Roads to cross at another place.
With shocked eyes the Cross Roads looks up to the clear firmament
and wonders "How the hell am I going to do that?"
I yell "We are not we without the Cross Roads! 
Where will we meet in the future?!"
The Loner suddenly appears, moving to the side of the Cave-Dweller.
He recommends that "You have to start to think heliocentrically" – 
a bit of sun-worship won't do you any harm.
You might become blind but who wants to see anyway if you can feel?"
The Wretch stands up and smears his mouth on his sleeve.
"I am going, I need to go water my futility."
"No come back!" shouts the Cave-Dweller "With the conclusion of the next lunar revolution we will send you an army of occupation so that you can take over the world
and supply everyone with new birthing ground."
The Carillon wonders silently by himself "How am I going to ring in thís era?"

Friday, 15 February 2013

Ryp druiwe

die klavierklanke val
soos
ryp druiwe
uit
die lug
vol trosse kom lê soet-soelig diep binne my oor
draai om en om in
'n hemelse taai mallemeul
in die ingewandes
van
my siel
die rillings breek uit oor my kopvel
en die toppe van my skouers
ek is bang as
die stilte
gaan kom
ah, om verewig in die hand van klank te lê
daar waar dit resonerend warm is
vat my nie weg van hierdie klank!
kom klank,
kom val
soos ryp druiwe
in my oor
bederf my
met
'n oomblikse versadiging
van
hierdie
nimmereindigende
honger

ripe grapes

the piano-sounds fall
like
ripe grapes
from
the sky
full bunches come lie sweet-sultrily deep inside my ear
turn round and round in
a heavenly merry-go-round
in the guts
of
my soul
the thrills break out on the skin of my head
and on the tops of my shoulders
i am scared when
the silence
will descend
ah, to lie forever in the hand of sound
there where it is so resonantly warm
take me not away from this sound!
come sound,
come fall
like ripe grapes
in my ear
spoil me
with
a momentary satiation
of
this
neverending
hunger

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

{[( dis actually die yskas )]}

die oggend staan so vroeg op
klim in my verbeelding in
en verbaas my met allerhande oortuigings

die grys gedreun so vroeg in die dag
gryp my om die kiewe
en ek wonder vanwaar gaan my stilte kom?

ek sal maar illusie-illusie speel
en kyk of die invloed van my kop sterker is
as die invloed van die irritasie

dit trek styf in my bors
die sien en hoor van die baster-gedagtes
breek deur my skedel

is dit alweer die hadeda wat sy roep
met soveel ongekunstelde gewoonte handhaaf
ek is verbaas ek het nog nooit 'n hees voёl gehoor nie

in die hoek van my oog skuif mense om my rond
almal met hulle oordadige doen en late
god weet wat sal ge-oes word !

ek keer terug na die suis van my kop
en al wat ek kan doen is staar staar staar...
ek voel hoe die spoeg opdam in my linker kies

die gesuis was nie my kop, maar die yskas
as ek spiere van yster had sou ek die yskas
in my ystas pak en piekniek gaan hou in die arktika

dood is die dade wat
eens op 'n tyd oor die horison
aangedonder gekom het

ek sal my aksies en reaksies temper
agter klip gaan skuil as ek moet
- die enigste alternatief

vergewe my my leë kop
moet my asseblief nie bliksem nie
dit vat nie die verwurgende waansin weg nie

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

ek wil weer voel hoe dit voel om inkantasies die wind in te sing

in die kwiksilwerende organika soek ek versadiging
probeer ek my klei-lyf 'n ware rugstring gee
ek verval in 'n tornado van donker sensasies
gegiet in die vrees vir die woord
diep krap ek in my onderbewuste 
opsoek na 'n onverskrokke feesviering van letter en klank
hoe ryk is die dieptes wat my keel net-net kan voel
en oombliklik weer in die niet verdwyn
ek kreun die nagte om
want waaragtig ek wil nie agterbly
ek wil weer voel hoe dit voel
om inkantasies die wind in te sing
ek wil weer voel hoe dit voel
om met my naakte vlees
die ongenaakbaarheid van die elemente
om my ledemate te voel kolk
ek wil weer die resonerende pols deur my are voel golf
ek weier om te ontrafel
ek het nog te veel vlerk wat wil vlieg –
uitbundig wil die heilspellende spel van die lewe
deur duister vrees en skaamte breek
en met hierdie stem, die enigste stem wat ek het,
wil ek my spoor vol en diep trap
uit hierdie lyf 
wat weet hoe 
oer voel in 
die alleen-grond
kom daar 
'n lus 
gegroei 
wat weier 
om 
tot 
die 
niks 
te 
verteer


i want to feel again how it feels
to sing incantations into the wind

in the mercurial organica i search for  satiation
i try to give my body true spine
i fall in a tornado of dark sensations
moulded in the fear for the word
deep i scratch in my unconscious searching
for the intrepid celebration of letter and sound
how rich are the depths that my throat can nearly feel
and then instantaneously disappear into the void
i groan the nights away
for i don't want to be left behind
i want to feel again how it feels
to sing incantations into the wind
to feel with my naked flesh
the inclemency of the elements
whirl around my limbs
i want to feel again the resonating pulse wave through my veins
i refuse to unravel
i have still too much wing that wants to fly –
the haunting play wants to break boisterously
through dark fear and shame
and with this voice, the only voice that i have,
i want to tread my tracks full and deep
from this body
who knows how primal feels like in
the lonely soil
the desire
comes growing
refusing
to
dissolve
into
the
nothing

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Emergence / Home

I have been invited to write and perform poetry for the opening ceremony of the International Aquarium Congress presented at the Cape Town International Convention Centre on Monday 10 September. It will be the first time that The Two Oceans Aquarium in Cape Town will be hosting this prestigious event (and the first time to be hosted in Africa and the southern hemisphere). I have been given specific guidelines to relate a certain narrative. There are three poems that I will be performing between visual projections and live music. Seeing that I was not completely free to write "as I please" I was faced with challenges. It is a complex yet interesting endeavour to write for scenarios like opening ceremonies. The text need to be clear, understandable, accessible and still moving and poetic. It was requested that each poem should be around a minute long. I have included here the first poem. (I am still slightly shy about the 2nd and 3rd poems for they don't sound completely sincere and genuine; they have something a bit "cliche" about them.) I have never struggled so much to strike a balance between a  vision, aesthetic, intelligence and  inspiration without it bordering on  "corniness". Yet I rest on the hope that the text will be experienced as part of a greater drama.

PART I

- Emergence / Home –

before breathing began
before hearts started to beat
before hunger struck consciousness
deep and dark pools grew
emerging from a liquid spark
bursting forth slowly and silently into the first throbbing cells
pulsing through darkness
holding onto the waves that thrust
their virility into hungry life
chiseling cathedral cavities
where tidal pools shape and temper consciousness
casting an oceanic spell on all living things
moulding watery awareness in all of life's core
clinging onto that instinct to dive, to swim
deep
deep
into the womb of life

oh , ocean, you make the earth stand to attention!

feel and listen to the resonating growth in the organic pool
filling this great reservoir of life with marine mysteria
feel and see the grand variety of colours and rhythms
exploding in abundance in one of life's most monumental dramas
the glistening peaks of waves
exalt with tremors of
deep
deep
memories
that build up the knowledge
that these waters
these fine waters
these wild waters
were our very first home