Thursday, 21 April 2011

Some handy/leggy tips for long distance cycling along the Garden Route

 - When someone offers you lift on an ascent, graciously wipe away the
sweat on your brow and say NO thank you

 - When you are still on the bike by nightfall on the hectic N2 and a
Dutch couple from Plett offers you a lift, graciously say YES thank

 - When two fit and beautiful cyclists from Kareedouw offer to cycle with
you to the Tsitsikamma graciously say YES! The one might give you a
handy push up the neck of the Langkloof

 - When cycling along stretches of fynbos, breathe in the bittersweet
aromas deeply, for it might just be your last breath the way some of
the cars drive on the road

 - When passing through the Tsitsikamma go along the R102 and do not bypass
Fynboshoek - stop for njummy home-produced cheese, bread and other
tastefully grown and prepared food. The Provencal style of eating,
drinking and laughing will pacify all undesired anxieties and the good
company will make your soul celebrate this warm-hearted living

 - When entering Knysna, stop over at the bike shop at the side of the
waterfront where the handsome French Belgian shop assistant/salesman
will give you good advice on bike saddles and wish you in an oh so charming way good luck

 - When pulling away with your bike after tweeting/smsing/other
blackberry actions make sure you are focused and steady - avoid
pulling away with a wobble and a swerve - this is hard with a 15kg
load, but try nonetheless. You don't want to cause an accident or let the other road users to think
you are drunk/unsteady/inexperienced (-;

 - When spitting mucus or any undesired fluid from your mouth make sure
you aim hard and fast. You don't want phlegmy attachments on your arm
- it might affect your aerodynamics

 - When cycling past Wildernis, think twice about cycling up Kaaimans
pass, especially at peak hour and at the onset of a brewing storm.
There is no shoulder, the climb is hell, and if wind is coming from up
front, you are going to be beaten even by a snail(-: Rather throw a
thumb, two begging hands or a sweaty, sexy leg to get a lift through
to George.

 - When you think this is it, my lower parts are all frazzled, raw,
overcycled, I do not see the end of this long and winding road, have a
good night's rest, and thank your lucky stars, angels and human
supporters for keeping an eye and a wing over you

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